Dear M Train,
Remember when you used to be cool? You were on D-line status
and running express. What did you do to piss off the MTA? You have been
banished to Queens and branded ‘uncool.’ That is like going from a corporate
Wall Street job to a teaching fellow.
Love,
Sarah
Dear lady that screamed morning updates at the grading
get-a-way today,
We are on track to meeting the weekly goal of grading, eh?
Yeah, I have only seen you stuff your face with chocolate chips. I have yet to
see you score a test. There is no “we” in this business, cupcake.
Love,
Sarah
Dear Tampax,
Toxic shock? Did the Surgeon General (aka fun killer) make
you plaster this warning on the tampon box?
Love,
Sarah
Dear Surgeon General,
You are such a wet blanket. Are you even a real surgeon? Or
a real general? I imagine that you are a lot like the tooth fairy.
Love,
Sarah
Dear Brooklyn Fare,
Lower your prices and check the reality of the situation.
You are located on Schermerhorn – between Hoyt and Bond. You are located
geographically down the block from the Brooklyn food stamps department and a
subway station that constantly smells like decaying poop covered in vomit.
Love,
Sarah
i like to call Schermerhorn, "schermy" while talking about it. it makes it sound both more pleasant and more dirty at the same time.
ReplyDeletealso brooklyn fare is all hype to compel the rich people who moved the the neighborhood from The City that they're as good as Citeralla. (is Citeralla good?)
they did however, make a yummy portobello sandwich.
I will not lie - I enjoy the pre-made food at Brooklyn Fare. But I fall into the trap of buying four or five pretty items and then realizing at the register that I spent $40 on a meal that I would not even classify as 'excessive consumption.'
ReplyDeleteSchermy is a good moniker. the er-horn works as well.
No alcohol warehouse visit for us. :( Next week though. Stupid Queens. Stupid Manhattan (for Mike). Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.