The NFL Schools the NBA

The NFL is better than the NBA. Since Mike and I dabble in the education industry, we are going to collaborate on a list to justify our aforementioned statement.  Note: Collaboration is one of the most recent buzzwords frequently mentioned in education. And we will construct this list using backwards design. Our end goal is to explain why the NFL is better. Okay, here it goes!

• The NFL has fewer games during the regular and post season. Why is this a positive thing? Well, it makes each game vital and beyond competitive.

• More fundamentally sound technique is required for the NFL. NBA players get away with excessive traveling, carrying the ball, and crap shooting technique. NFL players cannot get away with JUST being athletic. They have to be an expert at their craft to succeed.

• The NFL requires teamwork (collaboration). For a team in the NFL to be successful, they have to be on the same page. You never see an NFL team that consists of opportunists reach the Super Bowl. You do, however, see NBA teams with opportunists reach the finals.

• Roger Goodell could easily beat the shit out of David Stern in a fight. Oh, he is also a better commissioner. He demands that his players be law-abiding citizens and positive role models. People in the NBA start brawls and shoot up strip clubs. When we engage in the reproduction cycle, we hope our offspring admire a stand-up NFL athlete. We intend on informing little Mike or little Sarah that the NBA is fake, like wrestling. This plan may not be failsafe but it may curb excitement, at least for a while.

• The flow of the game in the NBA is horrendous. At the end of a close game – there are excessive fouls, free-throw attempts, and time-outs. It is ridiculous and frustrating for the average impatient fan. The NFL, on the other hand, has great flow. Unless the game goes into overtime, it is rare that a game lasts over three hours.

• The NBA timeout rules are awful. Seriously. It is a close game and you get a half court move up advantage because you are a wimp and called a time-out to “talk it over?” Ridiculous. You don’t see NFL teams moving from the 1-yard line to the 50-yard line after a time-out. I bet Tom Brady would have liked this though in the Super Bowl.

• Fan safety. Have you ever seen an NFL player go into the stands and attack a group of fans? No. Oh crap, I better watch out for a Jermaine O’Neal cheap shot! And Mike is sort of tall, Jeff Van Gundy may hold on to his leg. And he is a coach!

• Star NFL players build hospitals for children (Peyton Manning). Star NBA players take their talents to South Beach.

• Weather. The NBA game conditions are always the same. They wear shorts and a tank top for the love of Tebow! NFL players may have to play in harsh conditions. Remember Coughlin’s face a few years back in Green Bay? Crazy. And winter games in Buffalo!? You have to be kidding me! These guys are tough.

• Tim Tebow does not play in the NBA

• No matter how bad an NFL team is you never see them mail in a game (see 2011 Indianapolis Colts). NBA teams routinely tank for lottery picks.

So what did you learn? You learned that the NBA sucks and the NFL is superior.

Agree? Disagree? Share your thoughts.  ßThat is your homework.

The Problem with NBC's Golf Coverage

        Watching the Match Play Championships today on NBC and one thing is more apparent then ever before:  NBC's golf coverage blows.  I just heard Peter Jacobson and Johnny Miller take one minute to agree that being 2 down is a much bigger deal then being 1 down after 14 holes.  Really?  What great analysis.  This is why they get paid the big bucks.  Not that being 2 down instead of 1 down is ALWAYS a big deal.
Plus, both are kind insufferable.  They want to be likable, but really aren't.  They just come off smug.  Nick Faldo was a far better golfer, and doesn't appear like such a pompous ass.  And Johnny Miller is overly critical of everyone, and considering he had to retire because he had the yips I think this is unfair.  I have no problem blasting someone for making a poor decision, but when a professional doesn't execute you don't have to question his ability- golf is a game of misses, not makes and you should know that Johnny.  He doesn't get a Mr. Miller from me, because any grown man who adds the "y" at the end of his name loses all of his man points.  Ghhh..
       Making matters worse is that Dan Hicks is basically a flawed clone of Jim Nantz- it seems as if both were created in a genetic experiment much like the 80's hit Twins in which Arnold got all the good features and Danny DeVito was what was leftover.  To get all SAT on your ass Nantz is to Hicks as Arnold is to DeVito.
      Roger Maltby is pretty tolerable, but would work much better if they would let him break down swings more often like Peter Kostis and didn't make the poor old man walk the course.  He should be in a stationary tower, in a position that befits his long service to the game of golf.
      And Dottie, not to sound all misogynistic on you, but really?  Really?  This is the best you could find?  You couldn't trot out another old-timer to make us remember the days of yore?  I would love for them to send a hacker out there, someone who is a terrible golfer [I am available NBC] to lighten the mood a little bit.                    
      These are just some of the problems with NBC's golf coverage, but the biggest is that they don't utilize the greatest asset they have, Al Michaels.  He has the most recognizable voice in sports broadcasting today, understands every event he covers, and has a contract with NBC.  Your telling me he wouldn't do the U.S. Open?  NBC, get it together.  Do you believe in miracles?  Because I do NBC.

Sports Idiot of the Month

I thoroughly enjoy it when people in sports act like inane creatures of the barbaric lagoon. Awkwardness portrayed on the television and in the real life entertains me to know end – hence my love for Ricky Gervais, Extras, The Office, and most British humor. But it is especially great when sports figures act obstinate and absurd. Why? They typically add another variable in the equation…idiocy

Travel with me back in time – to the Super Bowl. If you want – we can take the zip line instead of the time machine. Anyway, as you should recall, the Giants upset the Patriots (yet again) in a nail biter game that went down to the bitter end. Prior to this money-making spectacle of an event, the media constantly reminded us that Rob Gronkowski had a high ankle sprain and would likely see either limited action or he would not play like a freak of nature tight end (like he usually does). And as expected, Gronkowski looked hurt. He was not targeted as much by Mr. Uggs and did not impact the game on a high level. He was clearly hindered by ankle pain. And all blame aimed toward Wes Welker aside, most people would say Gronk’s injury is a main reason the Pats lost. But he was hurt. There was nothing to be done.

But wait a second…

A few days after the Super Bowl – a video emerged on youtube starring Rob Gronkowski. Apparently after the Super Bowl, Gronk decided to go clubbing. This is fine on the surface. Who does not like to drink after a tough day? But if you watch the video – a few questions emerge. Isn’t Gronk hurt? Wouldn’t all of those awful white boy moves hurt his ankle? Why didn’t he move like that in the Super Bowl? And why isn’t he dancing with women?

Bottom line: Gronkowski clearly has the right to blow of steam. He had a great season and an inadequate Super Bowl escapade. But all of the dancing on a high ankle sprain seems a bit preposterous. Especially when he hobbled around hours before on the football field. He looked awkward, idiotic and absurd. And I love it.

-Sarah

The Scouting Combine

Yes, it is that time again, the time all football fanatics enjoy- the Scouting Combine.  I am actually watching the offensive linemen run the 40 yard dash- and it is a little bit offensive.  All I know, is after investing my time in this, the Jets better not screw up the pick again ala Kyle Brady over Warren Sapp.  Or another Johnny Mitchell episode.  I better stop thinking about this.  
Back to the combine.  The positional drills are also quite boring- way back when, during my high school days, those things were terribly boring, and I was playing.  To watch them on TV- man, I really wish it was warmer so I could go out and play golf with Sarah.  However, I think what they should do to make the scouting combine better is invite a group of normal guys- the kind who play flag football on Sundays- and just allow the college kids to eviscerate them.  This way, we could see just how big these offensive lineman really are.  The inclusion of the flag football people would not only boost ratings, but put guys who take flag football way to seriously in their place.  You could also spin this off into a Jersey Shore style reality show, and eventually the stars would wind up in the NBA aheem Celebrity All-Star game and could promote the NFL.  David Stern's head would explode, and Roger Goodell could then take over the NBA and start suspending guys with too many tattoos for violating the league conduct policy, and make LeBron James cry.  Really this needs to happen because it would become a win-win for all involved, except David Stern but nobody really likes him anyway.  All of these thoughts because I decided to watch the scouting combine on Saturday morning.  What will spill out of my head after watching the kickers?    

The NBA All-Star Celebrity Game

Wow..... They couldn't find a single A-list celebrity to show up?  They are in Orlando- why not run out Mickey and Daffy flipping Duck.  The list of celebrities is pathetic.  Arne Duncan shouldn't be the most recognizable name- and data indicates that he is not effective enough in analyzing his data reports.  Anyway, now that my obligatory teaching rant is out of the way, lets analyze the rosters:
Featured Members of the Celebrity teams:

Ne-Yo (R&B/pop) [who?]

Common (Just Wright) [should be known for Hell on Wheels]

J.B. Smoove (Curb Your Enthusiasm) [they couldn't get Larry David? though J.B. Smoove is hilarious, as are his missed lay-ups]

Vinny Guadagnino (Jersey Shore) [the 3rd billing?  really?]

Kevin Hart (Laugh At My Pain) [always nice to replace Justin Bieber with another short person who people find annoying]

Javier Colon (The Voice) [this is a TV show, I assume]

Drew and Jonathan Scott (Property Brothers) [the voice from House Hunters would have been better]

Jesse Williams (Grey's Anatomy) [similar to the Jersey Shore, does anyone watch this show anymore?  I never watched either, and I feel 27.8% better about myself]

Penny Hardaway (four-time NBA All-Star) [I guess little penny wasn't available]

Nick Anderson (NBA legend) [a legend?  At missing key free throws?]

Tamika Catchings (WNBA, Indiana Fever) [can't miss a chance to hype the WNBA]

Doug Gottlieb (ESPN, The Doug Gottlieb Show) [taking this game far to seriously]

Thankfully, Mitch Richmond, Chris Mullin and Tim Hardaway showed up-- on a sad note Mitch Richmond has become so fat he had to wear a t-shirt under his jersey- much like I did when I played YMCA basketball in the third grade.  

Stay tuned for more All-Star weekend reporting & judgement live from Brooklyn.

Garcon's False Sense

Ah, and so the false sense of self emerges from Pierre Garcon. Do not get me wrong - I do not dislike Garcon. He makes big plays from time to time. But he is a classic example of the Peyton Manning beneficiary. Face it, Garcon presents himself as a mediocre receiver. You can observe this by merely watching him catch the ball. As Mike pointed out to me at last year’s training camp in Anderson, Indiana – Garcon does not properly catch the ball in the diamond shape (like Reggie Wayne). And more importantly – Garcon drops passes all of the time. 

So what is my point?

It was just reported on ESPN that Garcon rejected a 5-year deal with the Colts. He should take what he is offered. Unless he walks and ends up on the Patriots – no QB will make him look decent like Peyton did.

Mount Union? Where is that? J

If I Was Peyton Manning...

If I Was Peyton Manning…

In case you did not know, I am a huge Peyton Manning fan. Ah, well, that is an understatement. I have dreams about the man. In my dreams we are best of friends. We go greeting card shopping together; lay in rafts in the lazy river, etc. … But anyway, since I am a huge Indy fan, I am trying to decide play the role of Peyton Manning’s agent. Or I am trying to think like Peyton myself. So if I were Peyton…

Look, you can make a case for almost any team in the NFL as a destination for Manning (sans the Pats, Packers, Giants, Saints, Lions, and Chargers). Most teams would improve dramatically with the addition of the Watson of quarterbacks. He is that good. He can make a below .200 team morph into a Super Bowl contender. With that being said, most teams would show that they lack intellectual capacity if they passed up on P-Dog.

So what should Manning look for in a team? I will tell you.

Things Peyton Needs:

1. Peyton needs a strong defense. No offense to my Colts, but their defense has been pretty bad in the past. Peyton has had to play perfect in order for them to win (In 2010 the Colts were ranked 20^th in total defense and 18^th in 2009.) Since he has had some overly noted health issues this year, he needs a team that can defend if he is having a subpar game or if he commits a turnover.

2. Peyton also needs a strong offensive line. He should not be put in a situation where he lands on his booty for half the game. He cannot risk injury. The lack of strong offensive line in the past has inhibited the running game – putting more pressure on the laser rocket arm.

3. Peyton needs a coach that is willing to hand him the keys to the car. Anyone who watches football or reads the sports page knows that Peyton runs the show. He has implemented an intricate offense that no one else can handle (Painter, Collins, and Orlovsky prove this fact). In order to play to the zenith degree, he cannot have a coach that stands in his way or an offensive coordinator with an ego.

4. Peyton needs a versatile running back. He needs a guy that can block, catch short passes, and run the ball. Joseph Addai was good at blocking and catching the short pass – but he did not run that ball too well. Their running game was not a threat. And as we all know, Peyton loves play action. No one will fall for it if you never effectively run the ball.

5. Peyton needs goal-oriented teammates. Teammates that crave a Super Bowl ring. He needs teammates that are willing to put in countless hours watching film. He needs maturity.

6. Peyton needs an AFC team. Baby brother rocks the NFC.

Things that Peyton Does Not Need:

1.     1. Peyton does not need a dome. Don’t be silly, people. The argument that Peyton needs a dome or an indoor stadium is ridiculous. He plays well anywhere. This argument makes me want to launch a football at the head of the person making this case.

2.     2. Peyton does not need all-star wide receivers. Remember when his receivers were all hurt a few years ago and he played very well with guys from the practice squad? Yeah, he makes mediocre receivers into all stars.  

3.     3. Peyton does not need a quiet, laidback coach. He does not need a Caldwell. P-Dog does not have an ego problem. He can work well for anyone. A loud mouth coach (like Rex Ryan) should not bother him either. The guy is defensive-minded and supportive of his team. Rex Ryan should NOT be a turn off for Manning.

4.     4.  He does not need an ‘Idiot Kicker.’

5.     5. Peyton does not need a warm climate. He is a professional. Come on. This argument is fruitless.

So with all of that analysis – where do I think Peyton should go? Easy. The New York Jets. Why? I will tell you.

1.     1. The Jets have one of the best centers in the league with Nick Mangold.

2.     2. The Jets have a decent running game.

3.     3. The Jets have a strong fan base.

4.     4.  Rex Ryan would let Peyton do his thing.

 5.  5. The Jets have the best corner in the league and one of the best defenses.

6.     6. The Jets have a good O-line.

7.     7. The Jets are starved for a Super Bowl and strong leadership.

8.     8. New York would welcome another Manning.

9.     9. The Manning children could play together (both Eli and Peyton popped out three kids between them).

10  10. The Jets kicker is not an idiot.

So that is what I think. Do you agree? Disagree? Post away. We can have friendly banter.

Fire D'antoni

     This basketball season Sarah and I have tried to watch as many Knicks games as possible.  This proved to be impossible during the first half of the season because the Knicks were hardly playing basketball, and Sarah would not enjoy watching, which in turn, made it not fun to watch.  However, once Linsanity burst upon the scene, she was re-energized and took up a new interest in the Knicks.  BTW, I really miss NBA league pass [damn your free trial DirectTV] and watching the T-Wolves exciting style.  Lin kind of brought that style to Knicks.  D'antoni got a ton of credit.  However, why give him any credit?  Why does he still have a job?  I don't know.  Let's examine his missteps below.
1.  He had the transcendent Jeremy Lin buried on the bench for the first 20 games, and only played him because of injuries and Baron Davis' balky back due to overuse of the headbands and buffets.  All of a sudden D'antoni is once again a genius-- I think not.  His system, which I use with the loosest of all definitions, requires a point guard and he didn't give Lin an opportunity?  Bad call.
2.   D'antoni has showed what a terrible motivator he is with home losses to the indestructible Raptors, Bobcats, Nets and Hornets.  Really?  Multiple members of the second unit would start on those clubs, and they drop games to them?  In a compressed season in which every game takes on an added importance.  When the Knicks play the Heat in the first round and can't depend on Jeff Van Gundy to take the floor to take down Alonzo Mourning those losses will haunt them.
3.  They have one play-- a high pick and roll, then the rest of the system is just one on one play.  Not exactly basketball strategy at its highest.  This is also evident in inbounds plays, where the Knicks are terrible.  C'mon D'antoni, think of something.  And don't give me this no practice time crap.  Every other team in the league has the same lack of practice time, but somehow can get shots off of inbounds plays.
4.  His mustache.  Really...1983 called and wants it back.
5.  The rotation.  The minutes are not distributed in a sensible way.  Guys need to know their roles, and the Knicks really don't have that well defined more then halfway through the season.


All in all, D'antoni should be replaced with someone for the rest of the season, then the Knicks should make an all out press to bring in Big Chief Triangle or Jeff Van Gundy.  

The Driving Range

Damn, I am sore.  Hitting 200 golf balls really wore me out.  I have to say overall I was satisfied with my performance, but now I have the itch and will probably think about the range all day today.  To let everyone know my goals for the season I want to average a 90 throughout the season, and shoot 85 or lower twice.  This may require playing golf 3,000 times this season.  The only depressing part is that it is February and playing on a course really isn't an option because they are pretty beat up, and I don't have the patience for a 6 hour New York round at this point.  Feel free to comment on the swing and offer some insight after watching the video below.  Post a video of your swing for comments from others as well, but be prepared for me to rip you apart ala Johnny Miller-- overly critical for no apparent reason.  And we all know that Johnny Miller can't putt!

Sarah's Closing Words At The Range

The video speaks for itself.

Meanwhile...Sarah Swings At The Range

I made some adjustments after that first awful swing. But I am not content. I look like an awkward idiot. I am hitting the ball pretty well though, despite the awkwardness. Enjoy.

-Sarah

Meanwhile...Mike... At The Range....

After a few balls - Mike improved. Watch him abuse more white balls.

Sarah's Pathetic Attempt At The Range

Yeah, my first swing was pathetic. I looked like crouching tiger, hidden Sarah. Or it looked like I was performing some sort of ritual by hovering over the ball. Either way, it was bad. So anyway, this was my first swing. Later swings are better.

Mike's First Golf Swing of 2012

Hey guys, here is a video of Mike taking his first swing at the range. There is a inane little intro followed by his ball abuse. Enjoy.

-Sarah

Bad Night For Lin

Don't panic, New York. Everyone is entitled to a bad game. He hasn't gone up against nonhuman players before...Wade and James are super creatures. Plus - I don't think he knows how to play with Melo yet.

Does this mark the beginning of the golf season?

I am not going to lie. At the end of the summer or mid fall (I can't remember), I was ready to throw my clubs into the East River. I think it is natural. At the beginning of the summer, I improved everyday. And like everything else, you hit a plateau. Being a competitive and goal-oriented person, I expected to shoot in the 70s. Yeah, I didn't. But after watching Phil destroy souls the last two weeks, I think that I am ready to return to green grass with some balls and shafts.

Today Mike and I are going to the range to attempt to knock off some rust. I am going to video our swings so you guys can see improvement as time goes on. If the weather is right, we will likely start to go to the range on a weekly basis. I must warn you, reader, my swing will be ugly.

Stay tuned for some excitement.

The Golf Season Begins!

Let me be honest-- when it comes to golf, I am a little bit nutty. I have played in February in 25 degree weather. But since Sarah has come along, I really don't feel the need to escape the house for several hours at a time to avoid the other person... ummm ex-wife.... who lived there. I actually want her to come with me and play. The only problem is that she gets cold when it is 60 degrees outside, so our on course time is limited. Considering the cost of golf here, it might not be a bad thing. Anyway, today marks our first day of going to the driving range, where Sarah is always happy to go with me. I'm hoping we both hit the ball well today, but more importantly have some fun. Check for a video post later.