Deron Williams is a turd

Deron Williams says he'll opt out - 03-17-2012

If Deron Williams stayed with the Nets - the neighborhood would benefit from a giant economic boom due to an NBA super star team.

If you didn't know - the new Nets stadium is a few blocks from where the sports couple reside.

Mike is hoping for great resale value.

So Deron Williams is a turd. He is a turd because his name is spelled in a stupid way and he wants to leave the Nets.

Things would be different if he spelled his name D-a-r-r-e-n.

Flynn a Phin?

Dolphins considered favorites for Matt Flynn - 03-17-2012

Matt Flynn is the next best thing to Peyton Manning. He really proved himself in that useless game with a loaded offense.

This move should be interesting.

Mike Power

Swing!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!

Enjoy!

I got smacked in the face with Manning news

Peyton Manning reportedly works out for 49er - 03-16-2012

Yeah, I am following the P-Dog Manning saga like I am Adam Shefter's personal assistant. I constantly check twitter, NFL.com, ESPN, yahoo, pro sports daily, Facebook, etc... for Peyton updates. But due to the stupid Queens commute from Hell (via the M train), I missed the breaking news regarding the 49ers. I was underground somewhere in between Court Square and the Marcy Projects.

But....

Whoa!

I thought the 49ers were committed to Alex Smith? Captain Comeback to work with his *gasp* replacement! Could someone make Crabtree into the receiver he is SUPPOSED to be?

I mean, well, this makes sense. The 49ers would take control of the NFC. They would dominate their division. They would win the Super Bowl. As far as talent goes - between the final three - the 49ers makes the most sense.

So what is going to happen? Titans? Broncos? 49ers?

For the record - I am completely fine with any of the three. But the Titans might be the most interesting. Potential awkward situations. Oh my GOD, how I love awkward situations!!! EEEEEEE. I get so excited sometimes.

Due time. Due time.

Sarah's First Short, "Mission: Find Flash"

Conversation of the Week AND an Award!

I had a slow week. Grading tests and spending an inordinate amount of time with four people I barely know inhibits the potential of a fruitful or memorable conversation. I made it my sole purpose to transform a relatively uninteresting and vague conversation to a lively yet deceiving verbal transaction.

Conversation of the Week:

Fellow teacher for NYC Dead Zone: “When you have children you will understand.”

Me: “I already have a litter of children and fail to understand. I have been through that bloated belly thing and labor process 4 times. Four children have emerged from my woman cave.”

Fellow teacher: “ Seriously? Do you really have children?”

Me. “No.”

This fairytale tête-à-tête led to blank stares followed by disproportionate laughter. This also marked the turning point of our table conversations. From this point onward – our focus turned snarky, stimulating, and relatively funny. I will take credit.

It should be noted that my table leader handed out awards for everyone at the table. I won, not shockingly, ‘most snarky.’

I am so proud!

Crappy Advertisments

I am sick and tired of crappy advertisements on our blog.  I hope you guys like mortgages.  I will now go consider refinancing.

Fire Dolan! What the Knicks really need.

Fire Dolan!  Why don't we ever hear this chant at the Garden?  I'm willing to wager Knicks owner James Dolan, the owner of cable empire Cablevision [kudos for the original name], has arranged for the sound to be muffled out on television broadcasts.  The Knicks are a mess- don't let a win over the moribund Blazers fool you.  The team is in a state of flux.  The coach, thankfully, resigned even though he should have never been brought back.  The two "best" players, A'mare "shat... uhh... Stat" Stoudemire and Carmelo "Melo drama' Anthony refuse to play defense, even with the threat of Tyson Chandler going all Fidel Castro on them with his beard.  The real problem is the ownership, and Dolan's lack of leadership.  He is too busy playing in his crappy band.  If you don't believe me follow this link.  I am now legally required to tell you how crappy this music is, but Dolan's commentary makes it a worthwhile watch.  Just have a vomit bucket ready.  Luckily, I do not have the privilege of overpaying for Cablevision so my internet won't be shut down immediately, and you will be able to read this post.  I will now do what every Knicks fan wants to do, and imagine that I run the franchise and showed some actual leadership.  My ideas to fix the Knicks.

1. Realize Carmelo Anthony isn't that good.  He hasn't won anything since he was at Syracuse.
2. Realize Stoudemire is awful.  Terrible.  Even if he can score, his defense is the worst I have seen in my life.  He actually picked Jeremy Lin the other night.  Ghhh.  
3. Understand that the best player on the team is Tyson Chandler, far and away.  Allow him to be the leader.  
4. Understand that Jeremy Lin should have been traded today.  He is the perfect kind of point guard for Mike D'antoni's system.  Carmelo had D'antoni whacked.  This leaves Lin useless.  A true leader would have made a decisive move, and dealt Lin while his value was sky high.  I would have kept Jeremy Lin, which means.....
5. Make a very bold move- they should have called Orlando and offered Carmelo and Stoudemire for Dwight Howard and Hedo.  This would give the Knicks the best defensive team in the league, perhaps one of the best ever.  Howard and Chandler would make it almost impossible to drive on the team, Lin is a good defensive point guard, Landry [Lance for you Friday Night Lights fans] Fields.  Add in Imam Shumpert and you can shut people down.  But Mike, how will they score?
6. Obviously Howard is a beast.  Lin will penetrate.  But the key will be Novack and J.R. Smith will have the green light to bomb away.  Truth be told, the offensive rebounds that can be grabbed by the Howard-Chandler monster will allow you to shoot a lower percentage, but get easy points.  Teams will have to collapse inside.  Look how effective Ryan Anderson is playing with Howard.  Imagine having two gunners? 

This is why Knicks fans should chant "Fire Dolan".  He is loyal to a fault.  His band is reason enough to never watch the Knicks play again.  I will now go place my head in the oven, to get JD and the Straight Shot  out of my head.

Letters of Anger - Part 5

Dear M Train,

Remember when you used to be cool? You were on D-line status and running express. What did you do to piss off the MTA? You have been banished to Queens and branded ‘uncool.’ That is like going from a corporate Wall Street job to a teaching fellow.

Love,

Sarah

Dear lady that screamed morning updates at the grading get-a-way today,

We are on track to meeting the weekly goal of grading, eh? Yeah, I have only seen you stuff your face with chocolate chips. I have yet to see you score a test. There is no “we” in this business, cupcake.

Love,

Sarah

Dear Tampax,

Toxic shock? Did the Surgeon General (aka fun killer) make you plaster this warning on the tampon box?

Love,

Sarah

Dear Surgeon General,

You are such a wet blanket. Are you even a real surgeon? Or a real general? I imagine that you are a lot like the tooth fairy.

Love,

Sarah

Dear Brooklyn Fare,

Lower your prices and check the reality of the situation. You are located on Schermerhorn – between Hoyt and Bond. You are located geographically down the block from the Brooklyn food stamps department and a subway station that constantly smells like decaying poop covered in vomit.

Love,

Sarah

Chronological Faces of Sarah Accepting Reality (photos)

This week I went through many phases of state assessment grader acceptance. This is pretty much what I looked like in a few snap shots.

We should probably worry about Friday.

Monday: Pleasantly Surprised

Tuesday: Ready to work

Wednesday: Starting to get annoyed

Thursday: 1/2 of the day was irritated the other 1/2 insane


Friday.......

Friday: Death. Cause of death: too much BS.

Will P-Dog drink Bud.....'s offer?

Titans owner offers Peyton a contract "for l - 03-15-2012

Does Peyton take this seriously? I would think someone was a little odd if they offered me a contract for life. It just sounds a little desperate. Don't get me wrong - as I have said in the past, I would love to witness P-dog going Edmond Dantes on the Colts in a Titans uni...but this seems weird.

Contract for life. Quit trying to get attention, Bud Adams. P-dog likes serious negotiators. Not people that create soundbites.

Best of luck, Tennessee.

Mark Sanchez is....

Bills land prized free agent Mario Williams - 03-15-2012

^ officially shark bate. Tom Brady will also see what Peyton had to deal with for the past several years. Poor Tom - now has to play a decent Jets defense and Mario Williams for a grand total of 4 times a year.

He just said...."Ugg.....s"

Ex-Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich talks of ’dark and long journey’ to prison

Ex-Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich talks of ’dark and long journey’ to prison

I find the Blago saga fascinating. Corruption from the ol' neighbor state.

oh, Blago.

Pathetic and Empathic Musings Via the Turd Tube and Table Talk

Pathetic Musing #1:

I am just going to go on and say it – I am spoiled. Everyday I go pedestrian and walk to work. I leave at 7:35 and arrive at my education factory site at 7:45. My walk is pleasant and lacks the (stereo) typical New York stress. I relish my commute.

Due to a temporary shift in my work site this week, my travel has been drastically altered (by a 3 hour tour (Xs2) to be exact).  Thus, I have been mobile. More specifically, I have been mobile via the turd tube (aka the subway). For the record, I do not mind the subway. The subway provides me with ample time to read and mentally prepare for the day. So the whole three-hour subway ride does not bother me (too) much. This morning though – I thought I was going to lose it. And by losing it – I mean vomiting up my morning break Atkins bar (apple crisp).

Picture it. I was quietly reading a Stephen King book and listening to Yann Tiersen when suddenly I smelled something fierce. Now do not get me wrong, I do realize that it is typical for the subway to smell but today was something special and ripe.

I am about 99% certain that ten minutes prior to my arrival on the M train in Queens, approximately ten homeless obese men squatted and took a group shit – equipped with last night’s burrito and hot wings. On top of that, I am pretty sure that two minutes before my arrival, the group of homeless poop squatters lit the pile of excrement with a match. Poops-a-flame! And that leaves the final minute before my arrival- in this minute, I am 99.9% sure that these squatters urinated on the flames to extinguish the possibility of a burning death.

My olfactory system was HELL this morning. The only cure was the overpowering floor/showroom of a Macy’s make-up counter. And unfortunately – they were not open at 7:50am. I had to settle for school smell with a splash of Queens.

Such is life.

Empathetic Musing #1:

I had another odd encounter of the M train this morning. Thankfully this did not involve a malodorous collision of aerated proportions in my nose. This odd encounter involved a man attempting to beat me in an awkward staring contest.

I am not naïve. Sometimes men look at me. I had two colossal mounds located approximately 8 inches above my belly button. By colossal mounds – I mean inverted caves. But self-deprecation aside, I do get an occasional look. So anyway, this morning a dude comes in with a plastic bag full of donuts and a backpack (probably full of milk?). He sets down his breakfast equipment, stares at me, walks down to the middle of the train (still staring), and begins to do pull-ups.

Naturally I thought that the donut box contained a bomb. I briefly imagined the MTA/NYPD signs that read, “If you see something– say something.” Then I remembered that we were underground and lack cellphone reception. So boom. Sarah is dead. While this cluster*uc* of a thought was going through my cranium, the guy continued to stare at me. He stared all the way until the next stop. When the doors opened, he grabbed his breakfast bags, and ran out the door. Poor pathetic man. He did not even look like he had tight abs or muscular arms. The whole “exercise” was such a waste of strength, effort, and eye contact.

Pathetic Musing #2:

Today during my grading fury, I noticed one of the “district leaders” hiding in a corner. Curious as to what she was doing, I caught a glimpse of a bag of chocolate chips in her hands. Then I realized that she was shoveling them in her mouth. Every three seconds she looked behind her sheepishly (probably hoping that no one witnessed this act of morbid nastiness).

I saw it. This is too easy. I cannot even bring myself to type anything snarky. Everything is done for me. : Sigh:

Empathetic Musing #2:

There is this lady that works for the district that employs me. She is very sweet and gregarious. I enjoy her workshops and her company. Today I noticed that she smiles all of the time. She has a nice smile that is infectious. She makes my mouth form a “u” and the sunbeams emerge on the outsides of my eyes.

But unfortunately for her – this woman has fallen victim to the typical American overconsumption and super-size me way of life. As I was thinking about how she had a great disposition, I had a morbid thought in conjunction. I thought of her dying and forklifted out of her apartment (she is not THAT big). This made me very sad. I do really likes this lady. L I do not want her to die of excessive consumption of fatty foods. I want her to smile and make cantankerous educators infectiously happy at workshops.

Pathetic Musing #3:

Today I was in an above-average mood. For far too many consecutive hours, I reaped the benefits of the company of my tablemates and the sunshine peering in through the prison-like windows of the public school auditorium. Because I am not used to such happiness – I decided to bring myself back down to earth. To get gravity to catch a hold of my mood, I pulled out the phone and clicked on my amazon.com application. From there I browsed countless Peyton Manning items that were at the very least 50% off. I then got depressed. All was normal again in SarahLand. Pathetic.

Finally- D'antoni Done!

The New York Knicks finally have a fighting chance- Mike D'antoni has resigned.  I will add to this post later with some more complete thoughts, but I called for this in one of our first ever blogs, even in the craziness of Lin-sanity.  He is not the right coach for this team, and never was as it was constituted. I just wonder why he resigned and wasn't fired?  More to follow....

Dwight Howard....what?

After OT win over Miami, Dwight Howard revea - 03-14-2012

^

I guess Dwight Howard wants to stay with Orlando.

This is a classic case of 'NBA player frequently pulling down his pants in public.'

He has showed his butt in the past about a trade. And those photos will follow him around.

But wait! Before you google search Dwight Howard "no pants" - he has not physically pulled down his pants in public. He has just talked about leaving the Magic.

Chargers Get Meachem

Chargers (finally) make splash, sign Meachem - 03-14-2012

^

Good move, San Diego.

Busy day

Due to my 3-hour fun ride on the homeless mobile and excessive grading - I am too tired to post anything.

Tomorrow I will probably write letters, post some articles, and make some embarrassing predictions regarding the sports world.

I see a creative day on the horizon. Hopefully I am not looking two weeks ahead.

See you soon.

Tuesday Fun Fact: Stephen King was a teacher.

Colts to keep Wayne

Wayne returns to Colts with three-year contr - 03-13-2012

I am not going to lie. I am shocked. I was waiting for a package deal that involved Peyton. But this is great news for the Colts. I was expecting them to be depleted at the WR position. They lost Garcon today. But then again - is the a loss? Garcon has the abilities to make big plays but lacks consistency. The loss of Garcon is not significant - but if they lost Wayne... Yikes. Now Luck will have at least one veteran play-maker around. This is huge. If Curtis Painter was able to provide Wayne with decent numbers - imagine what Luck will do.

So where will Dallas Clark go?

And more importantly - where will Peyton go?

Questions need answers.

[video] have you seen my glasses?

This is how most of our conversations go. Very awkward.

Turn the volume up and listen closely [video]

Is this symbolic?

NCAA Tournament Enigma

This is not a tournament for a compulsive gambler. College basketball is as unpredictable as the mood of a teenage girl. Mike and I have watched a lot of NCAA basketball games this year (mostly Big 10) and yet I felt so lost when I filled out my first bracket this afternoon.

I lack the foresight to accurately predict which teams will go to the final four this year. I tried to do research on ESPN about the potential ‘Cinderella’ teams but I got stuck on the fact that one of the experts is Dan Dakich (an Indiana radio guy, former IU coach for a day, and current AAU coach) and the other is Doug Gottlieb (the name Doug triggers a vomit reflex – I can’t explain it).  Isn’t there a Mel Kiper Jr. equivalent for college basketball? Someone needs to tell me who will dominate and who will flop…accurately.

I never do well on the NCAA brackets. I usually end up spending a lot of time and conducting my own Wikipedia style research only to fail miserably.

I should not get so worked up. 


PS - I really like Dan Dakich. He is a great commentator and analyst. 

Randy Moss in San Fran

Jim Harbaugh did throw the passes to Moss during the workout- confirmed on ESPN.  I will now pat myself on the back, and hope such fortuitous predictions carry over to my NCAA bracket.

Letters of Love - Part 1

WARNING: This post is NOT related to sports. But I can do what I want - the blog is my creation.

Today I had a serene day. I suppose it is all relative to my dramatic gloom and doom expectations. For the past several weeks I have dreaded this very week we are treading through. As I have mentioned in previous non-sports related posts, I have to grade exams in a location that eats up three hours of my time each day via the malodorous subway. I mean, come on, I have to pay $35 to do something that I don’t want to do? The idea is outlandish. So anyway, I was not thrilled about grading these tests in Queens. BUT…

Shockingly, the process is not dire. The company was agreeable, all the “cool” people from the district have to attend (they ARE actually are cool), I experience virtually no stress, and I get to read for an extended period of time. I suppose this is an idyllic situation for me.

Oddly enough, this whole process put me in a relatively decent mood. I am going to pounce on this opportunity to be genteel and not snarky – I will compose letters of love.

Dear Michael McNicePants,

I love you. Thank you for making steak in an effort to satisfy my inner carnivore. I would also like to thank you for unloading the dishwasher. Very few things annoy me more than walking a pile of plates over to the shelf. The counter creates an unnecessary 6 feet of walking. Thank you for eliminating that potential flying plate.

Love,

Sarah

Dear Man without a home that roamed the subway,

Thank you for telling me that God loved me. I was really on the fence about that one. But clearly you would know God’s true feelings. He probably talks to you.

Love,

Sarah

Dear Soda Machines at the Queens Mall,

It is okay that you were out of service. I forgive you. The man without a home told me that God loves me. Everything will be okay.

Love,

Sarah

Dear boys playing basketball outside of the school on Pacific Street,

Keep practicing – you are bound to improve. Try not to let reality get you down. Keep pretending you are Carmelo or some other ball-hog in the NBA.

Love,

Sarah

Dear R Train,

I used to think that the R stood for ‘ridiculous’ but now I think it stands for ‘reading.’

Love,

Sarah

Dear Mark Sanchez,

You may not be that good at being a quarterback. But take pride in the fact that you fooled people into paying you millions of dollars for no real accomplishments. Plus – you will probably be given the opportunity to impregnate a girl or two. Good for you. You fooled them all.

Love,

Sarah

Peyton and the Titans

Titans preparing for visit from Peyton Manni - 03-12-2012

Look who is going to visit an AFC South team....PEYTON. Take a look at this article - it brings up some good points. Roots, people. Sometimes it is all about roots.

Now the hard part of Spring Forward

It is now 11:15.  Sarah and I have to go lay in bed and try to force ourselves to sleep, only to wake up at what feels like 4:30 in the morning.  Yuck.  Tomorrow I will have to drink 5 cups of coffee to prevent becoming a zombie.  My students will be zombies.  And in the modern era of technology, you can't even use the excuse that you forgot to set the clock forward.  Good luck, and good night our friends and dedicated readers.

Sarah's pick for the NCAA tournament champion....

Butler.

Even though they did not make the NCAA tournament this year - I believe they will show up 'White Man Can't Jump' style and hustle the big boys.

Count on it.

'Celebrity Apprentice' Commentary

IMPORTANT NOTICE: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SPORTS! 

Due to a wedding last week, we were unable to post running commentary for the 'Celebrity Apprentice.' As previously mentioned, Mike and Sarah are a sucker for this show. Mike likes the hulk and Sarah likes Jr and the attitude of Lisa. Leave your judgement in your head.

Current winner predictions (the whole thing): 
Sarah - Penn
Mike -  The red head (Aubrey O'Day)

Running Commentary:
1. Dee Snyder, you would not like Lou (the hulk) when he is angry. He gives 110%.

2. The beginning of this show is touching - almost like 'Outside the Lines' on ESPN.

3. A clone of Donald is up in that building watching (rich scum).

4. GRAND ARMY PLAZA, BROOKLYN!!!! REPRESENT! Wait, there is a library over there. We stay away.

5. Adam could possibly be a sneaky winner. Early prediction: Debbie Gibson will be gone at the end of the episode after a nasty fight with a model.

6.  Men do not have a voice, or a soul, Aubrey!  Meanie-pants.

7. I personally think that Tiger Woods should make an appearance to plug Buick.

8.  I wonder if his ex-wife will make an appearance to break the back window of a Buick with a 9 iron?

9. Michael A. does not speak up. It must be a Michael thing. ;) Oh, snap!

10. If Aubrey put Theresa's green scary scarf thing on...wow, she would look like the Joker.

11. Corolla has a great idea with the heckling. Good thinking, guy!

12.  Aubrey would be placed in the shut the hell up van if she was working with us.  And these women pretty much weigh 6 pounds each- they can't all fit in one van?

13.  The preview for the driving scene pretty much re-enforces every stereotype about women drivers.  Good work Debbie Gibson.

14. Mike forgot to put Lisa into the weight equation mentioned in #12. I can be mean about her - she is the Queen of Mean.

15.  Good thing this Buick has airbags because the women are about to be hit by a train- a train wreck that is!

16.  Michael Andretti looks like he is about to explode- so much for Lou having the worst temper.  I wonder what he will do during this task- hasn't made much of an appearance, other then wanting to dress up like the Hulk.

17. An aside note- if we had to watch the voice I think we would end up vomiting and causing a chain reactions that would result in the need for a cleaning crew.

18.  Lou finally makes an appearance!  Offering to strangle someone- good work.

19.  Why would Debbie Gibson sing for a Buick- to make their target demographic not want to buy the car?

20.  Good thing Adam told me this thing has 10 airbags- the women may want to get the option for 15 if the presentation goes like it looks it might.

21. Verona used to be a blend of Starbucks Coffee.

22. Crickets make noise while people are preoccupied.

23.  Did Penn find Jimmy Hoffa?

24.  What did Clay Aiken just say?

25. Don Jr and Eric are participating in a drinking game that involves Lou saying "110%."

26.  We think the men won- the verona may have done the women in.

27. Debbie Gibson still thinks she is a household name.

28. She thinks that she is more then that- she thinks she should perform at halftime at the Super Bowl.

29.  Michael Andretti is a good man.  He should have started the Buick and revved the hell out of the engine.

30.  Will Lou ever find peace?  On the next Celebrity Apprentice.

31.  Adam just offended every hearing impaired American.  Way to help out Lou's charity.

32. Lou needs to stop be insecure and self-promoting. Penn does not consistently brag about eating fire. Adam does not talk about how he used to creep out little kids that watched 'Loveline' in the 90s (sarah). This is how Sarah learned about the side effects of STDs.

33.  Corolla is a courageous dude!  Or a fired dude.  He should just bring Lou back so he can finally get fired.  All though, I cannot wait for him to be project manager.  Maybe they will have a lifting heavy stuff task that he can lead.

34. I hate it when project leaders play nice and refuse to point out weak links. Don't be a __________ willow.

35.  whimpy

36. Aubrey O'Day is honest, smart and talkative.  I just can't take her seriously with that hair.

37.  What the hell does Debbie Gibson mean?  Owning herself?  And when did Teresa become TAHreca Donald?  You aren't so rich that you can rename people?

38. Don Jr. has his power pants on.

39.  The women make the board room last about an hour of the show because they can't stop arguing.  They really give 110%.

40.  Apparently Alec Baldwin made a great decision in getting kicked off a plan for playing words with friends- it has given him a whole new schtick.

41. Pre-board room - all of these women had unnaturally large lips. With all of this talking - I think they doubled in size.

42. The task would have been better if Michael jumped on a trampoline. Adam likes this crap, right?

43.  What a shocker-  will Adam stick to his word? I think he will, and Trump will bluff and say he will fire two, to get him to bring some others back.

44. This is like the 2000 election all over again.

45.  I think Corolla and not so sweet Lou go.

46. Are we allowed to tell a deaf guy to stop talking? Because Lou is getting ridiculous.

47. Adam has guts. Good for him. Who doesn't like a man with guts? Get rid of the weak ones, Don.

48.  Lou threw Michael under the bus- or maybe the Indy car?

49. Michael is being perceived as weak- he may go- and Clay didn't do a damn thing.

50. Don Jr. is the man- he should just go all Machiavelli on his father right now. <-- that was Mike (not Sarah).

51. Don't feel bad for Lou. If he wasn't almost deaf you wouldn't walk on egg shells.

52.  I think that Lou doesn't have many abilities other then to annoy people, and lift heavy things.  He would be an excellent mover.

53.  Adam doesn't bring anyone back- integrity- more respect for him.

54. Is Dee elevating his arm or challenging Don Jr. to a thumb war competition?

55.  I think that Trump will fire Lou and Michael, and save Adam.  Whatever happens, I'm really glad I bought his book and hope you do too- it was a good read.

56.  And I can't wait until Don Jr. gets to say your fired- if he does fire two tonight, you can't throw your son a bone Mr. Trump?

57.  Did Lou really play two roles in the Hulk series [Dr. Bruce Banner and The Hulk], just so brilliantly we didn't know?  Just like he plays two roles on the Celebrity Apprentice, one in the board room and one on the tasks.

58.  Dammit, now you must buy Adam's book.

59.  Sarah feels like Michael Andretti when she is in a room full of annoying New Yorkers- Mike agrees, and usually leaves said room.  Poor Michael Andretti. From now on - when Sarah is in a room full of annoying NYers, she was say she has been Andretti-d.

60.  Lou is this year's Pierce- no one on the show likes him.

61.  No surprise that Michael got fired- he seems too nice to be on this show anyway.  Thank you for being classy Mr. Andretti.

Michael's Final thoughts- another episode of the Celebrity Apprentice that didn't disappoint.  I'm really excited about the simmering tension between Teresa and Debbie.  I anticipate a wonderful fight.  And Lou will be project manager and everyone will submarine him, because they want to get rid of him.  And Clay will be ultra frustrated and blow a gasket.

Sarah's Final Thoughts: Michael should have been the project manager, no doubt. But Lou should have been fired. Lou is annoying and not productive. And what about poor Michael in the board room? He could not get a word out! I can relate to that feeling. I am reserved too. When loud annoying people speak and cut you off - you just shut up and sit back. On the inside though - Michael Andretti was calculating all the points he could score by running over everyone in the boardroom in his race car.

Peyton to the AFC South?

It looks like Tennessee did NOT back down? You know, I really hope that he seriously takes a good look at the Titans. I am a revenge-oriented person (thanks dad for that gene). And I hope that Peyton goes to the Titans so he can go all 'Count of Monte Cristo' on the Indianapolis Colts (God love them).

Beat them twice a year. Win the AFC South.

Strong fan base. Great running back. If they pick up Freeney, one of the refugee Colt receivers...wow, they could really be good. Go for it Manning.

But then again....Arizona would be nice. Denver would be interesting. And Kansas City could be potentially amazing.

You have your pick, Peyton.

A ______________ Letter

Dear ________________,

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.

_________________,
Sarah

P_ Tim _____

The Inaugural Meeting of The Sports Couple Fan Club!

The Sports Couple Fan Club Inaugural Meeting, 3/11/2012

Where Peyton should go.... and Sarah's photographic reaction!

Now that the Jets have stepped out of the Peyton sweepstakes, because life as we know it in New York would end if the Jets had a decent quaterback, it is time for me to share where I think he should really go, but first a quick breakdown of the current favorites.

• The Broncos are a possibility, but I don't think this is a good fit for a number of reasons.  The first is Tim Tebow.  If Peyton shows any signs of rust, it will get ugly.  I also think that this is Tebow's team.  He may not be perfect.  But he is a winner.  Give him a chance to develop, give your team a chance to be great.  Remember, the Denver defense is not as good as we think it is.  Whenever they played anyone decent, they got lit up.  Their defense actually reminds me of the Colts in many ways- good at rushing the passer, not so hot at anything else.  The big positive is the division is wide open- hmmm..........
• The Cardinals are not where he should go.  Yes, I like their underrated defense.  Yes, Larry Fitzgerald is the man.  The problems are that they don't have a ton of cap space, and their offensive line is, well, offensive.  Remember, Kevin Kolb was beat up like a pinata on Sinco de Mayo.  Ouch.  I don't like this fit for Peyton.
• These are the two favorites.  The team he should go to........

The Kansas City Chiefs!  Why you may ask.  Let me tell you why.  

• They have a ton, literally a ton of cap space- about 50 million dollars.  
• They have a very talented defense- these guys actually get the job done, look at what they did the Packers.  But, Mike, that was a home game. 
•  Exactly!  The Chiefs have one of the best home field advantages in the league.  Arrowhead is a tough place to win, just ask my Uncle Joe.  Really, what else are you going to do in Kansas City besides eat BBQ food- which you can do at Arrowhead!
• The Chiefs actually have some really good weapons.  Jamal Charles is a really talented back- remember, he missed most of last year with injury.  Tony Moeaki, a talented young tight end, was hurt last year and will also come back.  Dewayne Bowe is a big time threat as a wide out.  Steve Breaston is the perfect slot guy.  Dexter McCluster is game breaker, who will be the next Darren Sproles with Manning as his QB.
• With the leftover cap room after signing Peyton, the Chiefs can make a real run at Reggie Wayne.  More importantly, they can go after Dallas Clark, who went to school at Iowa, so you know he'd enjoy the beef in KC.  With Steve Hutchinson getting cut this morning, the Chiefs can sign him to help provide veteran leadership on their line.  They also have a high draft pick, and can add even more talent up front with said pick.
• The coach, Romeo Crennel, is already on record saying he wants Peyton.  He would be perfect in many ways.  The team played hard for down the stretch, especially the defense.  I think Manning could come in and run the show in any way he wanted to, and Crennel would focus on perfecting the defense and eating donuts- too bad Krispy Kreme's quality hit the dumps, or else I would buy all the stock I could afford.
• The Hunt family, owners of the Chiefs, really want to add Peyton.  They have a reputation as a classy family, unless you believe the rants of Todd Haley.
• The media in Kansas City is not particularly powerful nor large.  Peyton could control these clowns, and the information the team shares.
• If he won with the Chiefs, he would surpass Joe Montana.  Legacy anyone?

So let's all hop on the bandwagon and start sending e-mails to Peyton imploring him to join the Chiefs.  As a matter of fact, The Sports Couple has a pact to abandon our current teams and become hard core Chiefs fans if this does in fact happen.  Join us! 

Does Moss grow in San Francisco?

Randy Moss will work out for the 49ers on Monday.  Who will throw him passes during this workout?  My money is on Jim Harbaugh, who may murder him if he doesn't run a route properly.

Spring Ahead..... ghhh

I think most people hate the one hour we lose this weekend because of springing ahead the clocks.  Sure it represents the start of better weather, and gives us more daylight in the morning, but having one hour less of our own free time is not cool.  I have a solution to fix this problem- move spring ahead to Monday morning at 9:00 am.  You would have one hour less of work, and the good weather.  I believe this would change the perception of spring ahead, and improve national moral.  Really, this is what our government should be working on.  Remember this when we head to the polls in November.  My only hope is the modern day political machines get with the program.

Where am I?