Mike decided he wanted to further punish his hip and my shoulder at the driving range. So range driving we went.
Meanwhile, at the range, an older gentleman decided to get the super super 400 ball bucket and whack away at them. I noticed that after about ever 10 balls, this turd decided to read the newspaper for 10 minutes. I mentally theorized that he told his wide he had a job and decided to go to the range for 8 hours instead.
But oh wait, it gets better!! This guy cleaned out his cleats afterwards on the bench I longed to sit on. He was hitting on astro turf!!! There is no grass. This guy gives golf a bad name. I bet he plays slow.
If he doesn't watch out, he may spend 8 hours removing a Calloway from his booty.
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Saturday, June 2, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Rock Out With Your Club Out [video]
Since I was not in Indiana for the Indianapolis 500 - Mike was nice enough to take me to the land of the squirrel eating on Long Island. Given it is Memorial Day weekend, people with red on their necks often forget the true meaning of the holiday and celebrate with Natural Light and hamburgers. Those people decided to throw a hootenanny at the golf course. And this is what we heard....
Redneck-palooza!
Yesterday, as is our custom, Sarah and I played some weekend golf with our good buddies Piatch and Dr. E. We took the long ride out to Pine Hills Golf Course, in the magical place of Manorville, NY. I have to say, we do like Pine Hills- the course is nice and in good shape, relatively challenging [especially if you don't hit the fairways from the tee- it is called Pine Hills for the record], plays fast, and is a good value. All in all, it is generally much more pleasurable then paying $75 each at a city course and having a six hour plus round.
However, yesterday, Pine Hills presented the greatest challenge that I have ever faced on a golf course. An infestation of rednecks. Those of you who know Long Island are aware that once you get out past Nichols Road, you are playing with fire. You have a 50% chance of stopping at a traffic light and pulling up next to a Ford 150 with the windows down [regardless of temp] and Freebird blasting on an endless loop. Or so I thought. While playing yesterday there was some sort of Memorial Day party. For $10 you could get beer and BBQ, a good price. This had the effect of bringing out Manorville's finest to Pine Hills. Ouch. They cranked music. During play. The best part was as Sarah tried to tee it up on 9, with Shake Your Groove thing blasting, she began to focus. Upon her practice swings, she set up over the ball. "Baby, baby, show us how it's done" was just sung. Now was her time to strike. So she thought. Then the dude started scatting. Everyone broke into hysterical laughter. Including Sarah. Focus destroyed. The worst part was that this guy has about as much talent as a failed American Idol contestant on Karaoke night in Oklahoma City. This was terrible. If you heard this guy's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, as we did on the 18th hole on the way in, you would think it was written by Francis Scott off Key.
Don't believe me- check out the video below as I faced further perils on the course. For the record, I almost holed that sand shot. Piatch also hit a legendary 5 iron, one to rival the Sal story at Dyker Beach which will be told on another day. Apparently the key to golf is crappy singing of annoying overplayed "classics".
Bottom line, enjoy Pine Hills, but don't go when we do because we want to play fast. And more importantly, rednecks really enjoy to shake their groove thing.
However, yesterday, Pine Hills presented the greatest challenge that I have ever faced on a golf course. An infestation of rednecks. Those of you who know Long Island are aware that once you get out past Nichols Road, you are playing with fire. You have a 50% chance of stopping at a traffic light and pulling up next to a Ford 150 with the windows down [regardless of temp] and Freebird blasting on an endless loop. Or so I thought. While playing yesterday there was some sort of Memorial Day party. For $10 you could get beer and BBQ, a good price. This had the effect of bringing out Manorville's finest to Pine Hills. Ouch. They cranked music. During play. The best part was as Sarah tried to tee it up on 9, with Shake Your Groove thing blasting, she began to focus. Upon her practice swings, she set up over the ball. "Baby, baby, show us how it's done" was just sung. Now was her time to strike. So she thought. Then the dude started scatting. Everyone broke into hysterical laughter. Including Sarah. Focus destroyed. The worst part was that this guy has about as much talent as a failed American Idol contestant on Karaoke night in Oklahoma City. This was terrible. If you heard this guy's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, as we did on the 18th hole on the way in, you would think it was written by Francis Scott off Key.
Don't believe me- check out the video below as I faced further perils on the course. For the record, I almost holed that sand shot. Piatch also hit a legendary 5 iron, one to rival the Sal story at Dyker Beach which will be told on another day. Apparently the key to golf is crappy singing of annoying overplayed "classics".
Bottom line, enjoy Pine Hills, but don't go when we do because we want to play fast. And more importantly, rednecks really enjoy to shake their groove thing.
Pine (OB) Hills Golfing Adventure
Hi there.
Sarah here. So yesterday we went played golf. Mike and I went out with his lifelong friends, Piatch and Dr. E. Given the 75% or 3:1 statistics of testosterone to estrogen - I decided to feminize the course by making the following observation in picture form.
And they say golf is phallic.
Side note (seriously): I had the 3 side meal at Ruby Tuesday that includes the delicious croutons (salad bar) - and my stomach was satisfied. Mashed Cauliflower. Oh my god! So good.
Sarah here. So yesterday we went played golf. Mike and I went out with his lifelong friends, Piatch and Dr. E. Given the 75% or 3:1 statistics of testosterone to estrogen - I decided to feminize the course by making the following observation in picture form.
And they say golf is phallic.
Side note (seriously): I had the 3 side meal at Ruby Tuesday that includes the delicious croutons (salad bar) - and my stomach was satisfied. Mashed Cauliflower. Oh my god! So good.
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