Letters of Anger - Part 6

Dear people in charge of creating ‘Game Change,’

I put this show on as background noise. As a result, I (not-so) secretly hope that someone pierces my ear drums with safety pins and denies me access to the miracle ear.

Love,

Sarah

PS What?!

Dear man strutting down Court Street while rockin’ the running shorts,

Unless you have an elevated heart rate and salty liquid dripping from your cranium, you should never wear those in public. You are a slight gust of wind from seeing your name on a list that denies you access to schools and playgrounds.

Love,

Sarah

Dear man in white linin pants with an Argyll sweater draped over the shoulders,

I bet you toot. You don’t fart, do you?

Love,

Sarah

Dear Home and Beauty store on Court Street,

I see an advertisement for toilet paper in the window. Are you guys going for the ‘World’s Most Beautiful Butthole?’

Love,

Sarah

Dear Vitamins,

I noticed that the FDA did not slap an approval label on your bottle.  If I grow an extra brain, I will use it malevolent purposes – and I will use YOU as my rationale.

Love,

Sarah

Dear Mike Greenberg (from Mike and Mike in the morning),

Because you decided to play hooky, I had to listen to Skip Bayless this morning. That is an unforgivable sin. It is 50% of the way toward my worst nightmare – Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith filling in for you and Golic. Do NOT make that happen.

Love,

Sarah